Aging Gracefully
Written by Bill Cox
““The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, If it is found in the way of righteousness.””
"Caresses in the Old Age" Eugenio Zampighi, (1859–1944)
We hear the phrase often that “we are an aging Fellowship” or people will speak of their own local assembly as, “We’re an aging church.” Of course, this is true.
One challenge for our movement is the very nature of the miracle that God wrought through Pastor Mitchell and in the larger Jesus Revolution, which was a young people’s movement. While much of the traditional church world seemed increasingly old and irrelevant, the Holy Spirit touched a generation. Fortunately, a new generation of workers and fervent believers is rising up today.
The demographic of the USA and the Western world is that, due to declining birth rates and the aging of the baby boomer generation, we’re approaching a time when people over 65 years old will replace children as the largest demographic. Seventy-five million abortions since Roe vs. Wade, the decline of marriage, and chosen childlessness have all contributed to this.
Statistics, statistics, statistics…but what about when aging is increasingly becoming our lot in life? I have had to confront this in my own life recently more than I was comfortable dealing with. Growing up as an early boomer, we were arguably the most immature generation around. While God has helped me to become a responsible husband, father, and man, getting older has always seemed remote...until it wasn’t.
“So, how do we deal with the aging process, which inevitably is the stage of life we’ll all pass through? While we need to accept the reality of change, I like the famous line from Irish poet Dylan Thomas’ poem about aging entitled, ‘Do Not Go Gently into the Good Night.’The line is ‘rage against the dying of the light.’ ”
I’ve had a couple of recent experiences that have crystallized this. The obvious one is that I am currently recovering from knee replacement surgery, and while the prognosis is good, it would have been a much easier procedure 20 years ago.
The other, more subtle event occurred when a young man I’m mentoring asked me when I’m going to share my story in a weekly class I teach to veterans with addiction issues. Although I share my story in churches and other venues, for some reason, I felt some reluctance.
A colleague made a chance remark in a presentation I attended. He said sometimes resistance or even anger stems from underlying fears. I got some revelation that the fear I deal with has to do with fear of aging and the corresponding loss of strength and relevance. Telling my story is about events long ago and far away.
Psalm 92: 12-14 states:
The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree,
He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
13 Those who are planted in the house of the Lord
Shall flourish in the courts of our God.
14 They shall still bear fruit in old age;
They shall be fresh and flourishing
Of course, we believe this and embrace it by faith, but sometimes I don’t know that “fresh and flourishing” is an apt description.
So, how do we deal with the aging process, which inevitably is the stage of life we’ll all pass through? While we need to accept the reality of change, I like the famous line from Irish poet Dylan Thomas’ poem about aging entitled, “Do Not Go Gently into the Good Night.” The line is “rage against the dying of the light.”
My interpretation of that is, regardless of diminished strengths, live well and with full measure as long as you can. Pursue your dreams, be a self-learner, mentor the fatherless, pass on the hard-learned lessons of life, love your family, and be a pillar in your church. The possibilities are endless. The psychologists call it self-actualization.
Instead of ruefully mourning the loss of youth, focus on your strengths and giftings and live a life of service. Alison and I can’t think of anything we’d rather be doing than pastoring our little church and, in my case, practicing my second career as a counselor. Both in the church and my work, we have experienced real joy watching God touch broken lives and bring redemption.
I chanced upon an old American Jazz standard song called “Here’s to Life” by Shirley Horn... The version I heard was from the late Glenn Frey. Here are the lyrics,
No complaints, and no regrets
I still believe in chasing dreams
And placing bets, but I have learned
That all you give is all you get
So give it all you've got
I had my share, I drank my fill
And even though I'm satisfied
I'm hungry still
To see what's down another road
Beyond the hill, and do it all again
So here's to life
And every joy it brings
So here's to life
To dreamers and their dreams
Funny how the time just flies
How love can go from warm hellos
To sad goodbyes
And leave you with the memories
You've memorized
To keep your winters warm
For there's no yes in yesterday
And who knows what tomorrow brings
Or takes away
As long as I'm still in the game
I want to play, for laughs, for life, for love
So here's to life
And every joy it brings
Here's to life
For dreamers and their dreams
May all your storms be weathered
And all that's good get better
Here's to life
Here's to love
Here's to you
I believe that. There’s still so much to experience. The Bible talks about “the unsearchable riches of Christ.” I’m grateful the Holy Spirit still gives me revelation and inspiration to preach. I’m grateful in our city that there is no shortage of needs we can minister to. I’m grateful for books and ideas to contemplate. I’m obviously enormously grateful for my wife and family, and watching the grandchildren grow into their lives.
Oh, my knee surgery recovery proceeds. As soon as I can drive and my first class back in the VA program, I plan to share my story.