Jesus Gets a Driver’s License
Thinking Biblically about showing up as a father.
Written by Christopher Martinez
Boaz, in the Book of Ruth, gives four qualities that help us understand what a good father looks like (ironically, before he ever becomes one). These qualities are not limited to fathers. They belong wherever people are entrusted to one another: in friendships, marriage, pastoral care, teaching, work, and management (life presents us with a long list of possibilities!).
“Is it reasonable to expect a faithful spouse, friend, pastor, or father to be available, approachable, competent, and committed to elevating others? I think so!”
For example, I work in Human Resources for a software company in California. When a new employee reaches their 30-day mark at our company, I schedule a check-in call. I want to know how they are settling in. Do they like the work? Is the role what they expected? How are they getting on with their coworkers? What has it been like working with their manager?
Somewhere around the middle of the conversation, I usually break out my “AACE” speech (principles straight out of the Book of Ruth). I tell the new employee that it is entirely reasonable to expect at least three characteristics from their manager. And if that manager is really crushing it, they usually exhibit a fourth.
The first three ingredients are availability, approachability, and competence. These three make a manager usable (although I don't say this part out loud). The fourth quality is elevation. Elevation makes them formative. A merely functional manager helps people get through their work. A truly excellent one participates in forming them for what comes next.
I usually unpack each category and tie it to actual examples, so the AACE framework comes to life and doesn't remain abstract. I’ve noodled on AACE for years. I like it, and I use it all the time. It’s a handy guideline, and, as I mentioned above, it can also be applied to other stations in life.
Is it reasonable to expect a faithful spouse, friend, pastor, or father to be available, approachable, competent, and committed to elevating others? I think so!
As I’ve often heard said from the pulpit, “all truth is parallel.” I really like that phrase. If a principle is true in one arena of life, it will show up, become evident, and be applicable across the board. And when it comes to the practice of fatherhood, the AACE framework works!
Beyond Boaz, there are other extraordinary examples of this in the Bible, especially the time when Jesus got His driver’s license. Let me show you what I mean, and let’s investigate further.
The Available Father
“See now, he is winnowing barley at the threshing floor tonight” (Ruth 3:2 AMP).
👉A father’s availability is the foundation, the base layer. If a dad isn’t present, then approachability, competence, and elevation can’t be fully experienced.
“Just being present – as a father – is such a big deal that I have to call it out as its own requirement. A father’s nearness carries possibility. He may not be actively teaching at that moment. He may not be correcting, comforting, or landing dad jokes. But he is close enough that any of those things could happen. Let’s call it proximity with potential.”
There’s something to be said about being near, even before qualifying it with words like "intentional", “engaged,” or “attentive.” Consistent, frequent physical presence matters. It serves as a means of covering (a deterrent, like a police officer with a badge, or a male lion adjacent to the pride), it is a means of self-regulating, and a source of reference. Influencing how a child perceives their place in the world: “Who am I?” “Who cares about me?” “Who is claiming me as their own?”
Just being present – as a father – is such a big deal that I have to call it out as its own requirement. A father’s nearness carries possibility. He may not be actively teaching at that moment. He may not be correcting, comforting, or landing dad jokes. But he is close enough that any of those things could happen. Let’s call it proximity with potential.
A father sitting in the living room, watering the lawn, walking through the house, or sleeping under the same roof is meaningful. His presence means something inside the home, and it means something outside the home. He is a source of comfort and correction within the family, and to the outside world, he signals that this family is not undefended. He carries the potential of being reckoned with.
But, availability involves more than bodily location; a father may be under the same roof and yet remain removed from the daily life of the household. He can be physically near and practically unreachable. So, availability also requires a kind of “engaged” nearness. Not anxious involvement or performative attentiveness, but instead a settled willingness to be concerned with the well-being of his family.
Psalm 131 gives a fantastic picture of what this kind of availability can produce: a soul like a weaned child, one who can rest without grasping. The child is self-soothing because they have been made secure by repeated nearness. A weaned child does not become calm in a vacuum. They are first held, fed, comforted, answered, and made secure. Their present composure rests on a pattern of availability and action.
The available father is not a rumor in the house. He is an abiding presence in the home. He can be found. He is involved, and like a good manager, the door remains open. It is a presence charged with possibility.
This is starting to sound like faith!
“ Jesus is not describing a distant notion. He is saying the reign of God has drawn near enough to be encountered. Our God is a God of encounter!”
Psalm 145:18 describes the Lord as being “near to all who call on Him” (Ps. 145:18 AMP).
Deuteronomy 4:7 presents the same idea: “For what great nation is there that has a god so near to it as the LORD our God [is to us] whenever we call on Him?” (Deut. 4:7 AMP).
Deuteronomy 4:7 and Psalm 145:18 both use the Hebrew word qarov, which means nearness or closeness. In these passages, nearness is more than physical proximity. It is immanence. God does not simply exist; He is near enough to be reached, approached, and experienced. The word carries the sense of being neighborly or familial—close by and immediately accessible to drop in unexpectedly for a cup of coffee.
In Zephaniah 3:17, the passage describes God as “with you (qereb), the Mighty Warrior who saves.” The words may differ, but they move us in the same direction: God is not distant. He is not simply “there.” He is near, available, present, close enough to save.
In Luke 17:21, when describing the arrival of His kingdom, Jesus said, “You won’t be able to say, ‘Here it is!’ or ‘It’s over there!’ For the Kingdom of God is already among you” (Luke 17:21 NLT). Because I’m here, the Kingdom is here.
“This connects well to the idea that an available father is not simply nearby, but present enough to provide orientation, visibility, and safety. He is a dependable presence—one who can be seen, reached, and relied upon.”
The Greek phrase behind “among you” is entos hymōn, a phrase that can also be rendered “within you,” or “in your midst.” Immanuel, God with us. Does it get more available than that? God is obtainable and can take up residence in our hearts. Jesus is not describing a distant notion. He is saying the reign of God has drawn near enough to be encountered. Our God is a God of encounter!
This is what the availability of a father looks like and what it means. Nearness that locates dad within the life of the home. He has made himself available to be encountered, spoken with, and known.
One of my favorite lines on this subject comes from Martin Buber’s strange little book, I and Thou: “All actual life is encounter.”¹ All real living is meeting. That is the idea, the big setup for what comes next. The available father can be met. Our God is a God of meeting!
Revelation 21:23 says, “The city has no need of sun or moon, for the glory of God illuminates the city, and the Lamb is its light” (Rev. 21:23 NLT).
This connects well to the idea that an available father is not simply nearby, but present enough to provide orientation, visibility, and safety. He is a dependable presence—one who can be seen, reached, and relied upon.
A quote connected to Mother Teresa, though probably misattributed: “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” I love that line because it is so basic, it makes me chuckle. But I mean basic in a fundamental, rootsy sort of way. Foundational. And in this day and age, absolutely subversive.
Do you want your life to be an act of rebellion in this 21st-century modern world? Do you want your life to be an expression of worship in the midst of a fallen culture? Go home and love your family. Be an available father.
If a manager isn’t around when an employee needs them, are they really managing? If you ping them over Slack and don’t get a reply for hours, if messages go unanswered, calls go to voicemail, and emails sit waiting for a response, how is management actually taking place? It isn't.
If a father isn’t around, if he isn’t present, if he’s simply mailing it in, is fathering actually happening? I think not. Okay, this is Fatherhood 101, I know. Let’s move on to the approachable part.
The Approachable Father
“The Lord be with you!” (Ruth 2:4 AMP).
👉 Available means dad can be found. Approachable means he can be moved toward.
“The Bible offers clear examples of what approachability looks like, and Jesus is the supreme example. The parents who brought their children to Him recognized this immediately: Jesus was approachable.”
I have a lesson on the AACE framework available for managers at my current company. I literally have an image of the Grim Reaper at the beginning of the “Approachable” section for contrast. Trust me, the Grim Reaper is very available (“Because I could not stop for Death – He kindly stopped for me..”) but not the sort of creature I’m excited about getting close to.
How common is it for an employee to be super anxious (a.k.a. borderline terrified) of asking their boss for time off? How many deliberate, with perspiring palms, before “pulling the trigger” to request time off to attend Grandma’s funeral? This is a real thing. Why? It reflects a relational dynamic: authority creates climate.
The governing presence sets the tone. The employee is not just appealing to a PTO policy. They are petitioning a person, someone they have a shared history with and someone they have previously seen in action. They’re reading posture, detecting mood, and recalling past moments. Before they ask for time off, the underlying question is: can I move toward this person safely?
Doesn’t a child similarly pre-process interactions with their father? When they prepare to ask Dad for a snack before dinner or for extra screen time, the child is reading and remembering the father. Is he irritated? Is he distracted? Is there room to ask? What history do I have with this person? What has experience taught me to expect from him?
Ambient anxiety ought not be the air a child breathes at home. I’ve definitely had moments when I needed to hear, “Get over yourself, Dad.” The time we have with our children while they are still children is so short. Since we’ve been entrusted with kids to raise, how do we create the conditions necessary to stay on mission?
The Bible offers clear examples of what approachability looks like, and Jesus is the supreme example. The parents who brought their children to Him recognized this immediately: Jesus was approachable.
Matthew 19:13–14: “Then the little children were brought to Jesus for Him to place His hands on them and pray for them. And the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them! For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’”
Not only did Jesus welcome and bless the children, He commanded His disciples to facilitate their approach: “Do not hinder them from coming to Me.”
Jesus was approachable. Able to come near to. Able to be drawn close to. This is not passive availability. This is an active welcome. Jesus sets the tone of approach. When Jesus invites you to dinner, and He seems to have done that often, you say, “I’d love to!” He produces pull factors. He’s the ultimate pull factor!
Climate Control
“Decent, useful, compassionate, and kind. This is an acronym we use in our family: DUCK. It is not uncommon to overhear Emily saying, ‘That was very ducky of you’ or ‘Remember to be a duck.’ Decent, useful, compassionate, and kind.”
Boaz is a remarkable example of climate control. Through his actions, he created the conditions that made redemption, restoration, and renewal possible. Trust me, after a long day of facing the pressures of the world, every child and every family needs that kind of climate.
When Boaz first appears in the story, he comes from Bethlehem to his field, approaches his workers, and says, “The Lord be with you!” A blessing with an exclamation point at the end. Who is this guy? He seems to mean it, and his workers respond in kind.
Throughout the Book of Ruth, Boaz is proactive in his engagement. He is an initiator. He is decent toward his servants and toward the newcomer. He is a blesser and leverages his position in a useful way. He shows compassion toward the foreigner. He is thoroughly kind. I bet he made tons of eye contact and, for sure, asked people how their day was going.
Decent, useful, compassionate, and kind. This is an acronym we use in our family: DUCK. It is not uncommon to overhear Emily saying, “That was very ducky of you” or “Remember to be a duck.” Decent, useful, compassionate, and kind.
We are none of these things all the time, but the DUCK acronym is a helpful tool for remembering what we are striving for. The climate we want to set, the vibe we are hoping to cultivate, the spirit we want to operate in. It is the tone.
What is important to see is that the redemption of both Ruth and Naomi was set in motion by Boaz’s approachable stance. His demeanor was critical. He did not show up after a long day in Bethlehem and brood. He did not chase anyone off or assume Ruth and Naomi were freeloaders. He asked questions. He was curious about other people’s lives. Scripture states he was “made fully aware” of Ruth’s actions. He recognized her situation, honored her response to hardship, and welcomed her.
Boaz made provision for Ruth even before she asked. And because of that, Ruth’s future approach became easy. His graciousness, his “duckiness,” paved the way and made it possible. The climate was right for redemption.
One of the enduring testimonies of Boaz’s redemptive work is that it resulted in worship. His actions produced worshippers.The women of the town praised God, saying, “Blessed is the LORD who has not left you without a redeemer today, and may his name become famous in Israel” (Ruth 4:14 NASB).
And how fitting is this? Ruth’s child was given the name Obed — a name connected to service, worship, and devoted obedience.
The call of every godly father is to cultivate a household of worshippers. This begins, in large part, with the tone he sets. The tone a father sets becomes “home” for his children. It becomes an abiding reference point as they set out on their own journey toward adulthood.
In her memoir My Life on the Road, Gloria Steinem — yes, that Gloria Steinem, reflects on the lifelong effect of having a loving and affectionate father. Read how clearly her father’s engagement shaped what she perceived as normal in her life:
“He listened to all my complaints about not going to school, like other kids, yet years after his death, I realized that I’d also been spared the Dick and Jane limitations that school then put on girls. Nor was he around when I finally understood that having a loving and nurturing father had made a lifetime of difference. Only after I saw women who were attracted to distant, condescending, even violent men, did I begin to understand that having a distant, condescending, even violent father could have made those qualities feel inevitable, even feel like home. Because of my father, kind men felt like home.”²
I mentioned Zephaniah 3:17 under the previous section because Zephaniah describes God as “living among you. He is a mighty savior.” But look at the next part: “He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. Do we sing for joy over our children? Can our kids say, “Dad is excited to see me”?
This feels like a good place to bring up Luke Chapter 15 because it strongly suggests the prodigal son’s father had previously created the conditions that would eventually welcome his son back home. The father had already set the climate. The son knew there was a safe harbor to return to.
When the prodigal son eventually came to his senses and made the return trip home, his father was already pointed in his direction. Not only that. We know the father ran toward his son. He arranged a new wardrobe, placed a ring on his finger, and put sandals on his feet. He brought out food and celebrated. I imagine the father may have even rejoiced over him with joyful songs.
He was an approachable father, and that made all the redemptive difference in the world.
Our children get to see us in action. They watch how we face life, how we respond to setbacks, how we speak to Mum, and how we carry ourselves when things don’t go our way.
How do we come home after a long day in Bethlehem? Do we bring blessings through the door? Is it, “The Lord be with you!” or is it, “Chicken tacos again?!” Brooding versus blessing. How will our children receive our teaching if the wrong temperament gets in the way?
Can our children bring us their sadness, their anger, their confusion? What about their joys? Available means we can be found. Approachable means we can be moved toward.
The Competent Father
“Then he will tell you what to do” (Ruth 3:4 AMP).
👉 If approachability counters the brooding father, competence challenges the archetype of the bumbling father.
“A father is not simply a presence in the home. He is a source. Children draw from his strength, his steadiness, his wisdom, his courage, his habits, and his perspective. ”
Proverbs 17:6 declares, “Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers” (Prov. 17:6 KJV). This is a profound scripture. The glory, beauty, and pride of children is their fathers?
If we hold this scripture to be true, if “the glory of children is their fathers,” then how critical is it for fathers to have something of value for their children to draw from?
A father is not simply a presence in the home. He is a source. Children draw from his strength, his steadiness, his wisdom, his courage, his habits, and his perspective. Available, approachable, competent fathers give their children the very best chance of navigating the world and prevailing in it.
However, this takes effort. It takes intentionality. A competent father is a cultivated man. He tends his own garden. He keeps learning. He keeps growing. He becomes the kind of man who has something of value to offer his children. He’s building a life with substance, a life worth passing on. He challenges himself. He has seen some things. He knows some stuff.
If children draw from their fathers, then fathers must take seriously what they themselves are becoming. Time and again, scripture calls men to seek wisdom, gain understanding, receive instruction, and become skilled in the work set before them.
I think Naomi’s statement in Ruth 3:4: “He will tell you what to do,” carries incredible significance.
Boaz’s availability and approachability are connected to agency. He is near enough to be found, gracious enough to be approached, and capable enough to act. He is competent, and his competence is visible. It can be seen in the way he carries himself, the way he governs his household, the way he treats his workers, and the way he manages his fields.
Competence marks his life and enterprise. Naomi is counting on it. Their redemption story does not rest on sentiment alone. It moves through the competence of a righteous man.
Competence is part of Naomi and Ruth’s redemption story. Ultimately, it is part of our redemption story!
Ruth 4:2 says that Boaz “took ten men of the elders of the city and said, ‘Sit down here.’ So they sat down” (Ruth 4:2 ESV). There is weight to Boaz’s role in his community. As the story progresses, it is clear Boaz understands the law, the procedures, and the socio-economic implications. He knows his options. He respects the claims of the nearer redeemer. He is attentive to details. He is strategic without being manipulative. He raises the issue, guides the process, and moves the matter forward.
This is competence. Boaz does not merely feel concern for Ruth and Naomi. He can do something about it. He is informed, he knows the steps. He knows the forum. He knows the witnesses needed. He is able to meet the moment because he is studied up.
But I think it is even simpler than that. The foundation of competence is not gaining sufficient reps or mastering technique. It is cultivating one’s own relationship with God. We know that: “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 1:7; Psalm 111:10), and that: “knowledge of the Holy One is understanding” (Proverbs 9:10).
The starting point for competence is calling on the name of the Lord.
Genesis 4:26 states this in simple terms. I have read that scripture many times over the years, and I’ve prayed it over my children — that in the early chapters of their own story, their own Genesis, they would be quick to call out to God for themselves.
It’s fascinating to me that preceding the statement in Genesis 4:26, “At that time people began to call upon the name of the LORD,” we read this: “To Seth also a son was born, and he called his name Enosh” (Gen. 4:26 ESV). Fatherhood is now in full swing. With family on the line, the importance of seeking God and inviting His involvement in our lives and our homes can't be overstated.
Obviously, none of us was born holding “The Dad Playbook” or “The Foolproof Guide to Fatherhood” in hand. We need a shepherd. Otherwise, who is shepherding the shepherd? The chief ministry of fathers is to create an environment in the home that facilitates a knowledge of God and instructs children in obedience to His ways.
The entirety of Psalm 78 is rife with the idea of knowing eternal truth and transmitting it to future generations. There is a lot to chew on, but read this passage: “He commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands” (Ps. 78:5–7 NIV).
The beat goes on!
Fathers are called to know and make known the works of God so that their children, and future generations after them, might set their hope in God, remember His works, and keep His commandments. To cultivate an appetite for the things of God and point them to their Redeemer.
And, look how Psalm 78 ends: “He chose David also his servant, and took him from the sheepfolds: From following the ewes great with young he brought him to feed Jacob his people, and Israel his inheritance. So he fed them according to the integrity of his heart; and guided them by the skilfulness of his hands” (Ps. 78:70–72 KJV).
Highlighting David’s integrity of heart and skillfulness of his hands? Competence!
The competent father is inquisitive. He searches out a matter (Proverbs 25:2). He examines what he hears, studies to handle truth carefully, and takes the posture of a craftsman (Ecclesiastes 9:10). He gives his children someone worth aspiring to. Someone they can be proud of. And “his children are blessed after him” (Prov. 20:7 KJV).
The Elevating Father
“Blessed is the LORD who has not left you without a redeemer today” (Ruth 4:14 NASB).
👉Meeting the moment by maintaining the routine.
“The baptism of Jesus offers a beautiful example of this. It is the perfect Father showing up for His Son. While the moment carries extraordinary meaning, the action itself feels familiar. A father is present, affirming and delighting in his child. It was the day Jesus got His driver’s license.”
The role of a dad comes with essential offices. The call to shepherd, as well as, God-given responsibilities like that of provider and protector. One less obvious and often overlooked is that of a priest. Priests instruct, yes; they also anoint, bless, and mark threshold moments. Moments of passage into new seasons, new roles, and new calling. Fathers are called to play a leading role in these sorts of initiations.
This is especially true of boys. There are entire books on the role of the father as an initiator. Jon Tyson’s The Intentional Father is one such book. But my intention is not to descend that deeply for now. Instead, I want to stay zoomed out enough to keep this in focus: for any initiation to be effective, a father must have access.
There is something about availability, approachability, and competence combined that has an unlocking effect. Together, they are keys that maintain access to our children’s lives. A dad’s presence in the routine moments is what allows him to be effective in the ritual ones.
The baptism of Jesus offers a beautiful example of this. It is the perfect Father showing up for His Son. While the moment carries extraordinary meaning, the action itself feels familiar. A father is present, affirming and delighting in his child. It was the day Jesus got His driver’s license. The moment He officially entered the road to ministry and began to engage with the world in a new way.
At His baptism, Jesus stepped across the threshold into His earthly mission. John the Baptist was there. The people were there. And most significantly, God the Father was there, not as a distant observer, but as a present and affirming father. Let’s unpack it in three movements.
Jesus is baptized by John in the Jordan, and coming out of the water:
The heavens are opened:
Mark uses the word schizó, or “torn open.”
This is not a small or subtle moment. Heaven opens over the Son.
The Holy Spirit descends from heaven, alights on Him, and stays
The literal meaning is the Holy Ghost arrived and abided.
There was proximity and there was literal touch. He was alighted upon.
The picture being painted is a father that shows up, stands with his son, places his hand on him and stays there. This is not a momentary side-hug. This is an extended moment.
God affirms His Son, saying:
“This is My Beloved Son..”
God identifies with Jesus. But even more than that, He claims Jesus as His own. He does this verbally. And He uses clear terms of love and endearment. Words of affection. Esteemed, dear, favorite. It’s derived from the word agapé.
“In Whom I am well-pleased and delighted.”
God expresses clear approval of Jesus. No hedging. No qualifying. No reluctant affirmation. Pure approval. The word eudokeó carries the meaning of being “resolved.” Approval with a period at the end of it.
I guess what wows me most about this scene is that God demonstrates actions every father can and should regularly practice with his children: show up, get close, stay awhile, and take time out to say, “You are mine, I am proud of you, and I take pleasure in who you are.” If there were a manual, this would be on page 1.
Maintaining availability, approachability, and growing in competence are not the essence of being a father. Anyone can practice these things. They are more like delivery mechanisms. The first three characteristics set a dad up for the fourth: taking up the office and station of a priest. Now we are getting closer to actual fathering: doing what only a dad can truly do.
This may only be scratching the surface of fatherhood, but it’s where it starts. The foundation is built in the regular and routine. It is faithfulness in the regular and routine that keeps the doorway open to something larger: the opportunity and calling to usher our children into their destiny.
Jon Tyson writes in The Intentional Father, “Working from a place of blessing leads to a completely different life than working for a blessing.”³ I tend to agree.
As fathers, we get to create the conditions necessary to elevate, equip, and encourage our children toward developing their own relationship with God and walking in His will. Children capable of going out into the world and having fantastic adventures in trusting Him.
A high calling? Yes. And completely unachievable without the grace of God. Without His active involvement.
But do you know why I say, “We’re going to make it”? Because we have a Father in heaven who is everything I’ve already described and infinitely more. And because we are His sons, we get to father from a place of blessing too.
¹ Martin Buber, I and Thou, trans. Walter Kaufmann, 31.
² Gloria Steinem, My Life on the Road (New York: Random House, 2015), 22.
³ Jon Tyson, The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2021), 231.