Parenting the Oldsters in Your Life

By Ken Laue

In September of 2024, I found myself on top of Scott's Bluff National Monument in Nebraska during a road trip I made with my three grandkids: Leilani (age 20), Abby (18), and Elliot (10).

We discovered that Nebraska is not all flat "flyover country." As you near the Wyoming border, it contains interesting landforms, forests, and high hills.

Among other things, Scott's Bluff was once a landmark for travelers heading West in covered wagons during the 1800s. It is a geographic area of high escarpments popping abruptly out of the plains.

Thanks to the foresight of a past generation, one of those prominent escarpments was designated an entity of the National Park Service for future generations, so now there is a narrow twisting paved road for cars to make their way up to the top.

So, how did we wind up on Scott's Bluff, then later at Mt. Rushmore, and finally at the Devil's Tower National Monument in Wyoming?

Rewind to midsummer 2024, when the idea of a bucket list road trip with Gramps was hatched by the three grandkids, with the details delegated to Leilani.

Ultimately, Gramps got to pick where to go. Then Leilani masterminded the meals and the Airbnbs… plus, she volunteered to do the driving.

It was just me and the three of them, so driving myself a thousand miles in my ancient Durango to arrive at the launch point for our adventure in the Denver metro was enough of a chore.

Abby and I grabbed Elliot and picked up Leilani, and from there I was more than happy to let the girls do the rest of the driving.

Abby did some hours at the wheel of my 22-year-old beast and Leilani did all the rest.

One thing our road trip brought home to the kids was that some of the elderly people in your life may need some extra care and assistance. In my case, it meant stopping at every rest stop, and then some.

On rural highways in some of these states that contain large expanses of unpopulated area, rest stops were few and far between. Sometimes Leilani had to pull over discreetly on an isolated dirt road off the highway for me.

My health had taken a turn last year. In 2009, I was diagnosed with coronary heart disease and an enlarged prostate but for the most part, I had been doing well in the intervening years.

Then in early 2024, at age 73, I was diagnosed with heart failure – meaning that my heart was not putting out as much flow as it should be. I also got another stent last February, along with a witch’s brew of new meds.

It was now much harder for me to make the trek to Colorado and, since I would be driving back to Tucson within ten days or so, the girls decided they would take on driving during the trip.

Just a few years ago, I used to do more walks with them, too. But steep hikes like the one to and from the base of Mt. Rushmore? That super long staircase was killing my knees.

I had to send them on their way to enjoy themselves – just the three of them together on their hike – and to rejoin Gramps afterwards.

The kids did learn a few things on that trip about taking care of older disabled or partially disabled people. Leilani is a pre-school teacher, so she is already into taking care of smaller people who need help. Taking care of Gramps is different, they discovered, but they saw that some older people may need helpers, too.

Over those three long days on the road, we did have a few cabin fever incidents in the crowded old SUV, and I also learned about some of my behaviors that I needed to improve.

I also realized sometime afterwards, as I thought back on the trip, that part of what I battle with nowadays is isolation, and loneliness, and missing some of the things I used to be able to do.

Hanging out with my grandkids who actually do love me was a great antidote for these psychological maladies, and I believe that younger folks can benefit us oldsters across the board.

The younger folks often may not realize just how uplifting it can be to an older saint for them to take them under their wing for a five-minute chat after church, or maybe to listen to an oldster’s war stories or wise advice. Perhaps even something longer would be welcomed, like a sit-down visit together over a cup of coffee.

Or maybe it’s the other way around: there's a whole lot of current advice and wisdom that the geriatric crowd could be gleaning from these kids and young adults.

I'm 74, been saved 45-plus years at the Door Church, and I am still learning – and I am greatly encouraged by our wonderful young people!

The Bullseye is a church magazine focused on parenting. As I thought about our recent road trip, my title seemed appropriate, as I’m finding that parenting frequently works both ways.

"So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:10 ESV).